Where's the Joy in the Mess?

Ironically, after my last post, I really struggled with the mess in my house. Isn't it amazing/frustrating how when God enlightens us with something, the accuser brings on the struggle full force. Well, this week I did nothing short of curse under my breath as I picked up Barbie shoes, wet diapers, the same shoes a hundred times, etc. I even cleaned my house the other day, yelling at my children to stop crying about the loud vacuum...mopped the floor in the kitchen that had black splotches all over (what was that?). And then, not ten minutes later, I walk into the kitchen to see a puddle of orange juice all over the table, chair and floor. After cursing under my breath while I cleaned up the mess I scolded my children and probably stored away another therapy session for them as adolescents. I had to cool off by taking a shower. I had pretty much had it.

In the shower, the place God seems to be able to speak to me the most, I felt a tug at my heart. I felt the Lord drawing me back to Himself. I realized that I spend so much time and energy cleaning up my house, when I really just do it to ignore the mess inside. I was hardening my heart towards my children, blaming my lack of control on the mess they make, rather than realizing that my lack of control was coming from ignoring the mess in my heart.

So, you'd think that this insight would have moved me to make a change of some sort, or rather spend more time in prayer (which I didn't make time for). The next day I woke up in more of a funk than ever. It was the worst day I've had in awhile. Fortunately the day after was Sunday, which is today. During the sermon our pastor was talking on prayer and having us walk through the steps of the Lord's prayer. The very beginning is acknowledging God's holiness/praise to Him. As I tried to focus and quiet my heart to praise Him for who He is, not just what He's done, the Holy Spirit gently spoke to me. I realized that God doesn't need me to praise Him--He is so Holy and worthy of praise the mountains and rocks cry out to Him. No, God doesn't need me to praise Him, I need me to praise Him. Praising God takes my eyes off myself (my selfish wants, my sin, my pride). So, hence, the answer to my title, "Where's the Joy in this Mess?" it's in praising God. He is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness--all the fruits I want to bear to my family and then others. So, praising Him means taking my eyes off of me and my mess, (which ultimately comes from a lack of abiding in Him), and focusing on Him.

***Okay, so patience would be good here as I hear my almost three year old scream in the highest pitch, EVER!!! BTW, it turned out that her sister was holding the door to the TV cabinet-???? Who knows!!

So, my hope and prayer is that the Lord would teach me to praise Him in the mundane: changing a diaper, cooking a meal, cleaning, laundry, driving kids to school. I pray that He will grant me the humility to praise Him in the hard things: struggles with my flesh, conflicts with others, disciplining my children, loneliness and disappointments! That I would learn to praise God in all things, even in the mess... Thanks for letting me process!