We don't really know what inconvenience is nowadays. We can pay our bills and buy our groceries or presents by the click of a button. We can reach anyone at any time. We can carry all of our music and even movies on a little rectangle box and take it anywhere we go! There are drive-thru drugstores, Starbucks and fast food restaurants! We strive to live the life of convenience. Imagine how even our grandparents experienced things so differently from us.
I experienced some inconveniences for part of my growing up in Africa, like no electricity, phone or running water. The one thing that has always felt the most inconvenient no matter what age or where I am is poverty. It's never a comfortable matter because there's so much guilt, pity and selfishness that comes to the surface when I'm faced with it. Growing up around some of the poorest of the world felt like both a gift and a curse. A gift to my spiritual maturity and a curse to my worldly desires or materialism. My response for many years was to harden my heart or simply "numb out." It was too painful or overwhelming to care.
By God's providence I married a man who cares about poverty. As I've followed him in God's calling us to our current neighborhood, I've seen God's plan and heart unfolding in me. For years living here has been a constant struggle and inconvenience. The inconvenience of not feeling safe, having naps and mealtimes interrupted with visitors asking for help, kids coming over and staying for hours, watching drug deals and prostitution happen right outside my window caused me to want to shut it all out. I closed off my heart and my windows. I numbed myself to the pain.
Well, now God has opened the floodgates of emotion through healing my heart. But even after that, poverty is still a struggle, an inconvenience. But I see the beauty in the inconvenience now. Most of the time my flesh shows up immediately with excuses as to why I can't help or take time to notice a victim of poverty, an inconvenience. This is when I recognize my need for God and I have to cry out for help. It's about God living out in me, it's TOTAL dependence on Him to love and care for those He puts in my path. The more I understand God's love for me and His love for the poor, the more I can't ignore the inconvenient.
I really saw this happen on Christmas Eve. My family was participating in the evening service at our church. We all dressed up to go. Every Wednesday night our church hosts a dinner for the homeless, so on this particular Wed. bagged dinners were being handed out after the service, so that the sanctuary could remain set up for a service. Well, a lot of the folks that come to the dinner started to show up in between the two services, some to worship and some to get their dinner. I remember feeling like I just wanted to run out of there. I didn't want to talk to or even look at any of the folks who had come for the dinner. I just wanted to go back to the house with our decorated, lit up tree with all the presents underneath. I wanted to have a guiltless Christmas with our kids. I did not want to encounter poverty. I did not want to feel sad or guilty!
After I checked my selfishness, the Lord was able to speak in love to me. I know that He does not press guilt, only conviction. He wants to bless us and for us to bless our children. So I know that it wasn't wrong to want to have a fun Christmas with our children. It was a matter of my heart, not letting God enter into that celebration with me. He wants to bless others through us. I guess I was worried that God would ask me to invite all the homeless to my house for Christmas. Maybe someday He will ask that of me, but I know that He just longs for me to show the poor His love by loving them. I ignored it that night because it was both inconvenient and uncomfortable. But the next day God opened my heart to inviting someone over who was lonely and God really blessed that time and was able to love her through our family.
He longs to mold each of us through matters of inconvenience. Whether it's giving up something we hold onto tightly, living simply or caring for the poor or the lonely. Each of these things feel inconvenient, but are tools to mature us in Christ by calling out our yuckyness and giving us the option to choose His love for us and others.
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3 comments:
Great post, Diane. I find myself hardening or tensing up sometimes when I am afraid I may have to do something I don't want to do. I forget that with direction and leading comes desire and excitement...for the most part.
Wonderful post! I read it and thought yep, yep, that's me I do that also, especially if I deem it an inconvenient time... Thanks for the honesty. It's really cool to see all God is doing in you.
wonderful post....i had a similar experience on Christmas Eve and the Lord kept me up much of the night (not in anticipation of the preciousness of the morn), but to give me a kick and do something about the inconvenience - to act. I am going to post about it as well...not done, but it's called "Self."
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