Jacob screams when he wakes up every morning, "MOMEEE!!" This week I went in groggily and told him to hush, he didn't need to scream and he said, "Okay, sorry mommy." He proceeded to tell me he was screaming because his animals fell out of his bed, which meant he threw them out. I asked him as I do every morning, "Jacob, why do you have to scream?" This particular morning he said, "Mmmm, pee-cause (because) I miss mommy, long time." Of course my heart melted, even if it was before 7:00 AM.
At the dinner table this week, I was asking Psalter to tell her Daddy about the special visitor she had at pre-school that day. She said, "A fighter-fighter (a.k.a. fire fighter) clown named Flame came to talk about how to be safe around fires." So I probed with a question, "So what did you learn to do in a fire?" Psalter says, "Dial 9-9-1 and jump out the window." Oh, and she said the clown had a dog with him named Emporer (a.k.a. Ember). :)
Eliza was drawing a picture of a group of people with flames above their heads (the Pentecost that she learned about in Sun. School). She said to me, "I remember when we made flames in Chapel Hill out of tissue paper." And no, she was not referring to the craziness on Franklin Street after the Tar Heels won the NCAA tournament. That what she calls the chapel time during pre-school.
I've been using a lot of re-direction with Jacob when he starts a tantrum. For example, when I see there will be resistance to something I talk in my excited voice about something totally random to what we're doing. It usually helps him to snap out of his tantrum mode. So, this week he re-directed himself. I called him into his room to put him down for the night. He laid down on the floor saying, "don't want to..." I said his name sternly, "Jacob..." He got up on his hands and knees and started crawling, grumbling on the way. Then, out of the blue he started to growl as he crawled and said, "RRrrr I dinosaur! RRrrr!"
Psalter's rendition of the dog named "BINGO" song. "There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-o. E-I-N-G-O, E-I-N-G-O, E-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his name-o." It didn't matter that I tried to correct her.
Jacob's rendition of "Jesus loves me": "Jee-za loaves me, say no. For da BIble tell me so. Tittle one(t) Him be-yong, day are reghfjdfr is STRONG! Yes, Jee-za loaves meeee, Yes, Jee-za loaves meee....
Friday, April 24, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Get Out of that Pit!
This is the title of a Beth Moore book that caught my attention as it sat on my mom's book shelf this past week. It's now in my house, sorry mom. I read the first chapter on the way home and it struck me in a needy place. I've been struggling over the past few weeks just feeling stuck in loneliness and despair. I feel too tired to fight it and on top of that I feel shame for struggling, so I've told no one. So, welcome to the story of my pit!
In her book, Beth uses Psalm 40 as her platform: "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand...." I know God has delivered me from my pit. But, is it possible to slip back into it? I know the enemy does not want me to live in freedom because then more people would see the truth of God's love and be set free. But then, on the other hand, God is more powerful than the evil one, so all glory goes to Him, sooo why the struggle?
Is it a lack of faith that keeps me stumbling back into the pit so easily? Last night, I was reading in a book by Rob Bell called "Velvet Elvis." He had a very interesting perspective on faith. "when it comes to faith, everybody has it...everybody is following somebody...an atheist is a person of tremendous faith. In our discussions about the things that matter most then, we aren't talking about faith or not faith. Belief or no belief. We are talking about faith in what? Belief in what? The real question isn't whether we have it or not, but what we have put it in." So there, I Do have faith, but I am not choosing to put my faith in God. I'm putting it into myself, other people, or circumstances to change. So when I'm feeling despair over someone's life, my faith is in them to change or for me to fix them. Both of these acts of faith produce hopelessness and failure. Only God can transform.
Why is it that I know Christ is my solid rock, the only person that has never changed how much he loves me and yet I choose to put my faith in the mud and mire that I get stuck in? Rob's perspective on faith really helped me to see that I need to wake up! Stop putting my faith in the things that drag me down and put my faith on the One who sets my feet on the rock. This old hymn keeps running through my head, "My faith is built on nothing less than Jesus' love and righteousness." Lord make this my cry! The little mustard seed of faith that I have in You, take it and multiply. I know you did not promise life would be easy, but you did promise to be faithful and to set my feet on solid ground. Only in this should I put my faith! Can you imagine, if we could channel all the faith that we have in ourselves, other people, our country, our families to faith in Christ---WOW, we would be a different people.
In her book, Beth uses Psalm 40 as her platform: "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand...." I know God has delivered me from my pit. But, is it possible to slip back into it? I know the enemy does not want me to live in freedom because then more people would see the truth of God's love and be set free. But then, on the other hand, God is more powerful than the evil one, so all glory goes to Him, sooo why the struggle?
Is it a lack of faith that keeps me stumbling back into the pit so easily? Last night, I was reading in a book by Rob Bell called "Velvet Elvis." He had a very interesting perspective on faith. "when it comes to faith, everybody has it...everybody is following somebody...an atheist is a person of tremendous faith. In our discussions about the things that matter most then, we aren't talking about faith or not faith. Belief or no belief. We are talking about faith in what? Belief in what? The real question isn't whether we have it or not, but what we have put it in." So there, I Do have faith, but I am not choosing to put my faith in God. I'm putting it into myself, other people, or circumstances to change. So when I'm feeling despair over someone's life, my faith is in them to change or for me to fix them. Both of these acts of faith produce hopelessness and failure. Only God can transform.
Why is it that I know Christ is my solid rock, the only person that has never changed how much he loves me and yet I choose to put my faith in the mud and mire that I get stuck in? Rob's perspective on faith really helped me to see that I need to wake up! Stop putting my faith in the things that drag me down and put my faith on the One who sets my feet on the rock. This old hymn keeps running through my head, "My faith is built on nothing less than Jesus' love and righteousness." Lord make this my cry! The little mustard seed of faith that I have in You, take it and multiply. I know you did not promise life would be easy, but you did promise to be faithful and to set my feet on solid ground. Only in this should I put my faith! Can you imagine, if we could channel all the faith that we have in ourselves, other people, our country, our families to faith in Christ---WOW, we would be a different people.
Monday, April 6, 2009
"Morning Frog"
One of my friend's little girl calls fog, "frog." It makes so much sense to me, when I think about my morning self. I am NOT a morning person. I'm not really a night person either, or an afternoon person. I just like to sleep and cannot seem to get enough, ever.
I don't set my alarm in the morning. Jacob is our alarm. He hollers when he wakes up. There's no snuggling in the bed until he goes back to sleep. So this is how I wake up every morning. I hear hollering somewhere far away. Then I hear footsteps (more like elephant stomps) down the hallway as the girls wake up to Jacob's hollers. They feel the need to come and tell me that he's awake. Now, I may not always be mean and snappy, but I sure am non-responsive, irritable and "croaky." My poor children know a different person from wake-up time until about 9:00, at the earliest. I sort of croak out, "what do you want for breakfast?" Usually Eliza cannot understand me and so I have to repeat myself over and over, which ends up coming out harshly.
I do pray sometimes before my feet hit the floor. I ask the Lord to give me strength to love my children this early in the morning. But somehow from the bedroom to the kitchen my resentment comes alive. I don't want to be bothered. I want to get up when I want to get up. I'm not rested enough and it's my right to get what I think is enough sleep. So leave me alone and stop bugging me. Why can't you get your own breakfast? This is what's going on in my head and unfortunately in my heart. Then I get a sweet hug and kiss and "morning, mommy." Jacob says, "Hi, mommy, mommeeee!" I'm able to muster a hug and kiss back, but that's about all I can give.
So what needs to change? I know some would say, "go to bed earlier." Although that's great advice, I feel the same whether I get 6 hours or 9 hours. It's something of my flesh that needs to die, but I find it so hard to battle the flesh in the morning. I try to yield to the Holy Spirit, but that takes my effort, which is hard for me to muster up. So, to those of you who also suffer from "morning froggyness", I remember Jesus words, "if anyone should come after me, she must deny herself daily (or first thing in the morning), then take up her cross (first thing in the morning) and follow me! Denying myself in the morning would mean, give up my rights to what I want to do, which is sleep. It means to put the needs of my children before my own. It means responding to them in love. I can only do this by "taking up my cross" which is to remember that "I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." After I have made the effort to deny my "rights" and to remember that Christ is doing this through me, then I can react "in Christ." Only then can I love my children and care for them through my "morning frog." I pray that we can do this together.
I don't set my alarm in the morning. Jacob is our alarm. He hollers when he wakes up. There's no snuggling in the bed until he goes back to sleep. So this is how I wake up every morning. I hear hollering somewhere far away. Then I hear footsteps (more like elephant stomps) down the hallway as the girls wake up to Jacob's hollers. They feel the need to come and tell me that he's awake. Now, I may not always be mean and snappy, but I sure am non-responsive, irritable and "croaky." My poor children know a different person from wake-up time until about 9:00, at the earliest. I sort of croak out, "what do you want for breakfast?" Usually Eliza cannot understand me and so I have to repeat myself over and over, which ends up coming out harshly.
I do pray sometimes before my feet hit the floor. I ask the Lord to give me strength to love my children this early in the morning. But somehow from the bedroom to the kitchen my resentment comes alive. I don't want to be bothered. I want to get up when I want to get up. I'm not rested enough and it's my right to get what I think is enough sleep. So leave me alone and stop bugging me. Why can't you get your own breakfast? This is what's going on in my head and unfortunately in my heart. Then I get a sweet hug and kiss and "morning, mommy." Jacob says, "Hi, mommy, mommeeee!" I'm able to muster a hug and kiss back, but that's about all I can give.
So what needs to change? I know some would say, "go to bed earlier." Although that's great advice, I feel the same whether I get 6 hours or 9 hours. It's something of my flesh that needs to die, but I find it so hard to battle the flesh in the morning. I try to yield to the Holy Spirit, but that takes my effort, which is hard for me to muster up. So, to those of you who also suffer from "morning froggyness", I remember Jesus words, "if anyone should come after me, she must deny herself daily (or first thing in the morning), then take up her cross (first thing in the morning) and follow me! Denying myself in the morning would mean, give up my rights to what I want to do, which is sleep. It means to put the needs of my children before my own. It means responding to them in love. I can only do this by "taking up my cross" which is to remember that "I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." After I have made the effort to deny my "rights" and to remember that Christ is doing this through me, then I can react "in Christ." Only then can I love my children and care for them through my "morning frog." I pray that we can do this together.
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