My Time = Your Time

Dear God, I am so grateful that I have finally learned the simple truth: You just want to spend time with me. I don’t necessarily have to open my Bible to do this. I don’t have to have a quiet space and a certain amount of time. You just want me to realize that You are a part of my everyday life. You are there when I road-rage, You are there when I get impatient with my children, You are there when I pray for someone hurting or in need, You are there when I serve my family. I don’t often acknowledge Your presence in the “every day” part of life. You long to be known and experienced in those “every day” moments.

I used to be held in bondage by my fears of failing in my Quiet Times. I was in bondage to high expectations from myself and others. My Quiet Times were riddled with shame, guilt, or a new self-infused vigor to “do better.” Maybe if I get up earlier. If only I had one more hour in the day. If only the kids would shut-up and leave me alone… Maybe if I had someone to be accountable to…. All of these things came up empty as I continued to fail miserably!

Then I realized, wait…I don’t even pray. If I do have my Quiet Time, I go about my day forgetting what I learned and yet I have a sense of self-righteous satisfaction that “I” did it! It was just another thing to mark off my check list for the day, along with making my bed. Those times I spent with You did nothing to transform my heart or my mind.

But now, for some reason, the light bulb's been turned on. Paul’s command to pray without ceasing has new meaning. You want me to acknowledge Your constant presence in my life. You want me to talk to You throughout the day (not just that 20 minutes I sometimes set aside in the morning). You are my best friend, always at my side, whether I'm wiping a counter or a poopy bottom. You want to hear everything I’m thinking, even though You already know it. Just like I heartache over my parents missing so much of my “every day” life, You long for me to notice You and experience Your life! Oh, forgive me, sweet Father. Thank You for always being there, for holding me during those fearful and lonely hours. I’m sorry that it has taken me this long to recognize Your constant presence and desire for me.