The Conversation Every Mother Dreads....at least I did!

I'm deviating from my previous topic to have a "mommy moment." I had a 40 minute conversation with my 8 year old that every mom dreads. No, not the "birds and the bees" convo, much worse. It started by her saying she wanted to switch schools. What???? I've never heard her say anything bad about her school in the four years she's been there. So I dug deeper and asked her a lot of questions.

She told me about how she got teased today. Some girls in her class took a book of hers that she took to lunch to read in the cafeteria. She asked for it back and they continued to pass it back and forth to each other until she started to walk towards the teacher. My first reaction was to go to school and punch those little girls for hurting my daughter's feelings. Apparently this is not the first time this has happened, which made me feel worse. Uggghhh! Why are kids so mean?

So what to do as a mom to help her child work through this? The answer is not to pull her out of the school, but how do I help her deal with this life lesson? I started by saying the usual, "the people who tease are usually insecure and want to feel better about themselves, so they try to make someone else look stupid." and "they could be jealous of you." Then I went on to tell her that without a doubt, she can always remember that first off her heavenly Father and her mom and dad love her no matter what anyone says.

The biggest lesson came next when I asked if she thought she could pray for those girls that God would help her to love them. Her answer was genuine, "I think I will want to pray for myself more." This I totally understand, especially since I wanted to "sock it" to those girls! So I shared a story about when I was bullied by a girl in middle school (she was actually my roommate at my boarding school). She called me names, teased me and even hit me at times. None of the staff would believe those of us she bullied, so we felt so alone. I'll never forget a lady who did believe me and what she asked me to do changed my spiritual life forever. She said, "Diane, have you thought about praying for ______? Pray that God would change your heart for her, to love her." I thought she was crazy, but grudgingly gave it a try. God totally transformed "me" and I loved her. I couldn't help it, it just poured out of me. I knew it was just God's love coming through me. It was such an amazing answer to prayer, beyond what I thought would happen. Even better, this girl came back from the summer break a totally different person and she even thanked me for loving her!

It was exciting to be able to share this experience with Eliza. Even though I want to take all the pain and trials for my children so they don't have to bear it, I have to remember how much these things can build them up, mature them in their faith. Much like it did me. I don't want to rob her of the joy of seeing prayer work in her young life. My job now is to walk with her through this time, speaking truth about who God says she is and to model grace for her by praying with her for these girls. Praying that they would see Christ in Eliza, and experience His love for them and be changed by it. Isn't this our purpose in life? I finished by telling Eliza that God has called her to be a missionary in her school! What a rich privilege to do God's work at such a young age!!

Tribute to Vicky

Sweet Vicky, I really miss you. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I know you are so happy and satisfied up there with our Father. You're probably drinking the best cup of coffee and chatting with Him right now. Or running tireless down the most beautiful beach in your new body. I can just see you with that smile, the joy radiating from your face. That's the one comfort I have to this void your absence has left.

I learned so much from my relationship with you. I'll never forget the times we prayed together, the time we burned your address book of dealer's numbers, going to get coffee (vanilla bean frapp. was always your favorite), studying out of the Good New's Bible with the little pictures you loved, taking walks through parks, talking about little critters and gardening. God really spoke to you through His creation. I'll never forget the Cardinal the Lord sent to show you that He truly cared for you and had not abandoned you!

I miss hearing you joke around with everyone, even when you were so sick in the hospital you would joke around with the hospital staff. You were a stubborn cat, too. Sometimes I got so frustrated with you, but I couldn't stay there, I just loved you so much. You were one of the only people that I wasn't afraid to be totally blunt with. I knew you'd get mad, maybe, but knew that you were loyal and wouldn't reject me. Because of this I was able to share some hard truth with you and you would listen.

I miss hearing you say, "Good googly-moogly," "Girl-bye!!," "Absolutely!!," to name a few. I miss your head thrown back in laughter and your chuckle. I miss how you called me all the time: "whatcha doin'" you'd say and you would always ask how I was. Then you would end with "love, bye."

It's nearing your birthday. Last year we were supposed to have a big party to celebrate your being drug-free for 2 years. Instead you spent it in the hospital. I guess your funeral was that celebration-you will never struggle again, my dear friend.

I wanted you to write a book and travel and talk with women with addictions and on the streets. I had huge dreams for you. But I guess God wanted you home more. I can see why, I'm sure you add some "spice" to the heavenlies! Your imprint lives on in my heart. I hope I can do it justice and share your story with others. I look forward to seeing you on the other side of those pearly gates. And I know you will not be scrubbing those gates like you used to joke. I know you're at our Father's feet right now basking in His eternal love. I love you, sweet friend!