Ghost on the Water

Several months ago Vicky and I were doing a study on Mark 6:45-52. After Jesus had fed the 5,000 with five loaves of bread and two fish, he sent the disciples across the lake while he went up the mountain side to pray. After a while Jesus was walking near the lake and saw the disciples straining at the oars because of the wind and waves. He started to walk out towards them. He almost passed by them when they saw him. They thought he was a ghost and cried out in fear. Then, he spoke to them, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Jesus then climbed into the boat with them and the wind died down.

This passage has hit me over and over the past few months. I've always been a big "feeler." If I don't feel loved, then I don't believe I'm loved, or if I feel too much hurt, I numb it out with busyness. The Lord is definitely meeting me in this area. I have, until recently, struggled with believing that God is present if I don't feel His presence. Of course the Bible promises over and over that He is always present. So, the hard part comes in when you have to believe the truth over what you feel.

This story in Mark depicts my reaction many times to God's presence. When the storms of life rock my boat, I tend to buckle up in fear and determination to fix things. The whole truth is that the Lord is always present. We may not sense His presence, but He IS there! If we look for Him, He may appear as a ghost, but if we cry out to Him, He will enter into our situation. He may not always calm the storm or rid us of our problem, but He is present there with us. Sometimes He may calm the storm when we invite Him into it. Other times He may want to show us His presence by simply comforting us or helping us steer the boat through the choppy waters.

It always amazes me that the disciples had no idea who Jesus was, even after He had just fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. I often think, what was their problem that they couldn't believe the Lord could walk on the water to them, so they thought He was a ghost? But, here I am on the other side of the story. Jesus has already died to pay for my sins and has risen so that I may live in wholeness by His Spirit. Which, by the way, I have been sealed with since I accepted Christ. Meaning that the presence of God IS always near me, in fact, in me! So, who am I to criticize the disciples? I know the truth and have evidence of the miracles just as much as they did, and yet I still fail to believe. I still see my Lord as the Ghost on the water.

Thanks be to God that He is patient with us. We can ask, "Lord, help my unbelief..." and He will answer. He longs for us to call out to Him in the dark and in the light, to depend on His presence for security and guidance. He longs to ride out the storms with us and talk intimately with us on the quiet waters. Until we reach the other shore, He will be always present. Whether He's been invited into the boat or not, He's there because He loves us and He's waiting for us to call to Him. Stop trying to bail out on your own, it's extremely wearisome and lonely. Call out, even in doubt, He is listening.

Hermanos Y Hermanas

We just returned from an awesome week in Mexico City. There was a team of 8 of us, which included my big 6 year-old! From the moment we stepped off the plane I felt like I was home, I often do in different cultures. There was a little bit of chaos, uncertainty where to go and what form to fill out, different smells, sounds and people. Eliza started to cry and said, "Mommy, I want to go back to America." She changed her mind soon, though.

We stayed with host families of one of the churches in Mexico City. Our family had 4 kids and their apartment was half the size of our house! I was mostly impressed with the attitude of the believers there. They were so gracious and welcoming. They are a very personable people. We learned to call one another hermana or hermano, which means sister or brother. You shake hands and lean in for a kiss on the cheek with every person that enters the room or space you are in. You hear and say things like, "Mucho gusto!" and "Dios te bendiga" or God bless you, as you are hugging.


Most of all, I loved to worship with this church. Often we would sing the same worship song, in English and Spanish. They asked Marshall and his co-leader for the trip, Kenny, to lead worship. Often when they were done, the group would shout, "Autre, autre!!" or "more, more." It was incredible to imagine God smiling down on this group of misfits, uniting together across cultural, language and economical barriers. During each service they would have a time of sharing "gratitutes" or "words of thankfulness." Every time there was mention of either us blessing them or them blessing us and many tears of emotion along with it.

We ate a lot of authentic food, walked many miles to and from places, road the crowded subways, taxis, bicycle taxis and vans (without seat belts, I might add), climbed the ancient pyramids, dressed like clowns and led 2 kids clubs and toured the national palace and old cathedral downtown.



There were no stop lights or stop signs (the only one I saw was upside-down). There were pot holes as big as our taxi on the back roads and speed bumps every couple hundred yards on the "good" roads. You can't flush your toilet paper there. The water is randomly shut off. You can't rinse off your toothbrush or mouth with the tap water or drink it! There are little tiendas or stores every few houses, so you can buy a Coke or some candy anywhere.

All of these things describe our experiences in Mexico City, but the greatest one above all was experiencing God's presence with my hermanos and hermanas in Christ. The first night there the women of the church came to pray over each of us Americans, and the same with the men. As Norma was praying over me, I started to cry. It felt so good to be prayed over, even though I had no idea what she was saying! I felt the presence of God in it. Our last service together was full of tears as we all talked about how much of an encouragement and blessing we were to one another. Now that's how God intended our churches to be, reconciled to one another across barriers and encouraging and blessing one another in the Spirit!